On the show today, Kevin dared me to take shots of Chalula hot sauce with him. He didn’t think I could get past 4 shots. In a (stupid) effort to prove him wrong, I went to 10 shots… and now I post this blog from the comforts of a toilet…. it really does burn on the way out.

IBM announced today that its Watson system will compete against mere genius Earthlings on Jeopardy! in an “attempt to further artificial intelligence when it comes to semantics and searching for indexed information.” Basicallly that means the machine will need to understand “analogies, puns, double entendres and relationships like size and location,” something that has been very difficult for robots. 

If the robots win this round of Jeopardy!, everyone go to the nearest phone booth, underneath the chained phone book will be a piece of paper to directions to my secret bunker. Also, there will be a list of items you need to bring to help supply our… supplies. By my calculations, we can all live there for at least 57 years. Be swift and safe… and whatever you do- DON’T FORGET THE PIE!!!

God speed.