Stretching Machine?
I was at a gym and saw this crazy contraption… Apparently it’s a “stretching machine”? Seriously? People are so stupid they need a series of metal bars and a handbook to help them stretch? Here, I’ll help you stretch: You just stretch. You’re welcome.
Jun 28, 2009 |
Ok most of you people are pretty dumb…I’m a trainer at a gym with a degree as well as a Physio Therapy assistant and you’d be amazed at how many stretches you don’t know. These machines are great…not this one in particular but others that I use…I’d love to take any of you saying “who doesnt know how to stretch!?” and take you through a full body stretch…
you’re just jealous. because you’re so fat and out of shape, you CAN’T stretch.
I’ve used this and it’s actually pretty good.
They have it at California WoW in Paragon (Bangkok)
Mid-evil torture device?
I am wondering why ur twitter has been suspended. What is up?
We have this program at work called Stretch and Flex and we do it everyday before we start our shift and I have been working there for going on 3 weeks and I already feel more limber.
you’ve never seen this? Everyone needs a stretching machine!
An earlier version of this machine involved four horses and the all 4 cardinal directions.
Lol, looks like the inside of a transformers skull! Down to steal this puppy and take of the world olivia?
wow people are so stupid, lol… although olivia, maybe you could be the spokesmodel for the ‘truestretch’ and show people how to stretch, lol… sigh…
I’m a stretching machine. GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO!!
How do you not know how to stretch???!!!!!
….the guy/gal that invented this thing is rich right now…..that is sad…..
hehehe stupid that people need it STUPIDER (is that the right word?) that they can’t figure out how to use it!
Wen I saw this post I was like OMG!
Yeah, the small gym I go to has on of these… At first I thought it was weird… But I got used to it after a while… It comes in handy it’s a machine that gives you more options to stretch what ever u want easily. Kind of like a vibrator… That didn’t come out right…
Its a stretching ‘apparatus’?
F.Y.I. This thing is absolutely necessary for workouts. especially body builders focusing on specific muscle groups. wtf yall know about this?…thought so.
I would say tear that outta the floor and toss it into a city park for the kids to play on but now adays the kids are a bunch of lazy fucks who only want to watch TV.
Screw you guys, this is a great idea!!
I would use it if my gym had one.
It lets you stretch every muscle without lying on the gym floor.
Besides, This totally makes sense for gym owners. You could fit three of these in the space one person takes on a floor mat for stretches. That extra square footage can hold different equipment, more cardio, or whatever.
yea we have one of those at the gym i go to…
but it looks alot like those spiderweb jungle gym things kids play on in elementary school
america ftw!
I can see how that would be useful, but to call it a “machine”?!?? O.o
Why do they characterize that as a “machine”? It’s an inert series of bars. It’s not a machine.
Looks like a torture device to me. Yeesh!
If you look at it that way, I would say nearly half of the gym epuipment is useless…why using a treadmill when you can jog outside, why bench-press when you can do push-ups etc. That’s why I never was member in a gym.
Another symptom of much larger problems in this country. People seem to be getting more stupid every day. I read somewhere that the Americans spent millions of dollars and much time in research to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity. The Russians solved the problem by taking pencils with them into space. True or not, it does seem like people will buy into anything these days, no matter how stupid it is. There are dozens of junk ‘abdominal exercisers’ on the market because apparently people are so stupid they don’t know how to do sit-ups or abdominal crunches. Didn’t we learn this stuff in elementary school? The Roman empire crumbled, most likely due to exposure to lead in their plumbing system, but also due to breeding with inferior genetic stock. Apparently history is going to repeat itself. I’m looking forward to an instruction manual on how to breathe and walk at the same time.
Lazy Americans.
These stretching devices are typically used by physical therapists so they can target specific muscles during therapy. Really not necessary for a gym. So Olivia, now you know where your membership money goes to.
Looks like a bakers rack .
I’m stuck on the stretching machine and I can’t unstretch!
Help me Stretch Armstong! You’re my only hope!
Psshh Please Olivia you wouldn’t think it was stupid if Billy Mays pitched it to you for 30 minutes at 2 in the morning. lol
Where’s Billy when you need him??
R.I.P King of Oxi-Clean.
Billy Mays would’ve done wonders for this piece of shit.
Thanks babe! I am glad you told me….i knew i was doing something wrong..hehe.
badass, i wish i had something like that at my gym. so i could convince my roommate we needed to use that for 10 minutes every day. LOL.`
That just looks like some retarded bed frame or something…
Americans are just getting lazier everyday!
my gym has that weird machine also
i wonder how rich the asshole who made this got….
That looks like a pretty complex piece of equipment just for stretching. I meanis there really a way to use every bar in that thing?
HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY……..THAT’S NOT STUPID….I GOT MINE’S
LAST WEEK….!!!!!!….AND IT WORKS JUST ….FINE….!!!!…..I
THINK I’M LYING ABOUT ALLLLL OF THISSSSSS….RIGHT
NOW….!!!!…………OOOOOOOOOOOOO…..K
My boss has one of those inversion tables that swings you upside down in his office…I hopped on it the other day. Very weird.
Stupid muscle heads!!!
AMEN!!
How lazy do you have to be to need a machine to stretch, I mean there is one at my gym but it reminds of a speeder from star wars. Waste of money.
I have one of those except its for my crazy sex parties
I just picked one up at Amazon for the low price of $2,939.00
Most ‘equipment’ at gyms could function as a torture device, this piece is no different. Place fatty on one side of the cage, and cake on the other. They don’t get to eat any until they can fit through 1 (or more) of the holes. Soon as fatty gets head stuck you take cake and leave. You’re doing them a favour, this is not mean.
Man, with all the technological advancements we’ve got goin’ on, this is a major stepback.
But I’ll buy one if Olivia comes with it to demonstrate all the possible stretching positions we can come up with the machine ^_^
After their done stretching they can hang themselves there.
.
.
.
Human win.
Olivia, you should talk ur gym into donating it to the city. Some abstract artist can have a fatty sit on it and put it in a park.there, is art. Btw I have one at my gym. We DO use it as a towel rack after we found it on the curb outside!
Olivia it’s probably for fatties because they don’t know how to do anything but stuff there faces.
I must be teh only one that thinks its a pretty decent idea.
Theres stretching before a workout and stretching correctly before a workout. This “machine” would probably help people stretch better before they go off and lift too much weight with bad form *cough cough*