Sigh (DonSimeoni)
Member
@Jaym people don't read on the internet they skim.... fact is if you can't really get your point across in the least amount of words possible, then you really suck at communicating..... people only read things in depth if the subject matter is important to them.... in everyones head their life is more important than anyone elses.
Dave-O
Member
It's all good Jaym. Most of us contribute meaningful info, but there are times when we just want to have fun with short witty banter. I read everything that I post on in here, but I don't expect everyone to and I can't get mad when they don't (with some exceptions). Most of the folks on here seem pretty cool, including you.
heyolivia
Key Master
Don't be overconfident if you do have a lot to be proud of it- it's annoying.
If you have no great talents and nothing to be confident of, just be that guy who loves life and doesn't need accolades- even if it's not true. but whatever you do don't whine about how pathetic you are. it's annoying.
case closed.
Dave-O
Member
we just got told!
noname
Member
oh damn
Jack
Member
I guess I'll stop whining then. 
derrickkendall
Member
I think Olivia generalized the answer for how everyone should act and not directed the message at any specific user.
I read the whole thread. Confidence is a weird thing, it can be increased but if you are one of the few people who have trouble having any to begin with then it can be rough to start out. Def just be who you are, that person who is happy about life, content with what you have, even if it isn't that much. If you think negative then it will ultimately make you feel negative. Sometimes the littlest things can make you feel loads better, even if it's just a new shirt, hat, car, or new cologne.
As far as girls go and this is an easy one. If you have trouble talking to girls then simply become friends first and slowly work it into more if you are getting the right feedback. I am terrible at just walking up to and randomly hitting on girls. But what I am great at is being that funny & cute friend that they love hanging around with. Then when you find the right girl things will fall into place.
All of my ex's have been friends for many months before we started dating. It's a natural progression if you find the right one and it makes everything easier since you both know each other and have already hung out before. All the akwardness is gone. I recommend you do that. It could be a friends friend, family friend, from some social function, work (be careful) or basically anything. Just anyone you meet randomly, don't think of her as an immediate potential girlfriend who you have to wow right there and then, think of her as who she is. Another human being, a friend. If she likes you great, if not - whatever. It's a mistake to try and make a girlfriend out of every attractive girl you meet. Treat her the same as you would a guy friend you just met
drail
Member
thanks for the tip Olivia 
taoist23
Member
So she says and shall be done
Colonel Large Cock
Member
Dear Jaym,
I usually keep my advice for "Colonels' Corner" but in your case I'll make an exception. The Colonel feels your pain (actually, he doesn't really, but he pretends to) it's all about maximizing your own potential. All women love actors (it doesn't really matter what they look like) With that in mind I suggest you use your uncanny resemblance to "Bud Bundy" to pick up chicks! If that doesn't work you could just go for the old standby, a cucumber down the pants. Just make sure you put it at the front. CLC
AnotherA
Member
magoo
Member
Oh yeah, don't try the "shocker" on the first date...unless she is a redhead that gives you "the signal". What is the signal? You'll know.
Trainwreck
Member
talk to as many women as possible, or people in general. it doesn't matter if you want to date them or f 'em. just bone up on your communication skills. And you are gonna strike out plenty of times before you hit gold so don't let it get u down. stay the course and play the numbers game. talking to three girls is a 1 in 3 chance. talking to 10 girls ect ect... but no girls, you got no chances. good luck and God speed.
Jaym
Member
[quote]
Don't be overconfident if you do have a lot to be proud of it- it's annoying.
If you have no great talents and nothing to be confident of, just be that guy who loves life and doesn't need accolades- even if it's not true. but whatever you do don't whine about how pathetic you are. it's annoying.
case closed.
[quote]
In person I never "whine". In fact, I have found more ways than possible to make fun of myself and my epic-loser status. People are constantly telling me how great an attitude I have considering the things that have happened to me (screwed over at work, etc.) and my issues out of my control (anxiety disorder).
So, not a problem on that front.
However, I don't really see how it's possible to just "be the guy who loves life" if all the things in life that would make you love it are out of your grasp, outside your control.
I mean, I just do my own thing- that's what people say, be yourself, have your own interests, stop looking- and someone will find you. Well, I've not had that work for me... I mean, I'm at Starbucks nearly daily surrounded by women and in six years only one has become a "friend" (acquaintance) who had no interest in dating me whatsoever.
Just pointing out that this is where I get confused- the things people say to do, and the things people say happen... don't. To me, at least. And I have no clue why.
On a separate point from earlier, about the skimming on the internet? That says nothing about my communications skills (I'm a writer, after all, therefore an expert at written communication as well as verbal) and everything about the person skimming the internet (lazy, ADD, etc.)
My point on that topic is- this isn't Twitter. This is a forum. Why have a forum if you're not going to write and read in it? Otherwise you should just have a mini-Twitter area. Course, Twitter's fun but you can't hold deep and interesting conversations on it because you're limited to 140 characters and that doesn't allow for deep discourse.
Dave-O
Member
@Jaym- I think you went over 140 characters on that one
todosho
Member
@jaym
watch this VH1 tv show.
Pick Up Artist season 1
and about the shoes thing.
it's about have clean shoes. and not cheap shoes.
Dwayne Jackson
Member
theres a difference between being confident and being an arrogant cocky obnoxious douchbag which is a turnoff. I would be careful if youre gonna try and act confident. It should come out naturally. or better yet, just be yourself.
FuRyUs
Member
NKVD
Member
"how do you have confidence when you have nothing to be confident about?"
Well that's not true. You seem to be VERY confident regarding your lack of confidence.
You can't really fake confidence. If it were easy, faking confidence seems like more work than actually having confidence in the first place.
People are most confident when they're in their element. If you like to whine and complain, for example, craigslist would be your element. If you can shoot three pointers like nobody's business, then a basketball court (at least by yourself) would be where you are most comfortable.
That's what it comes down to: COMFORT.
When you're comfortable, you are relaxed.
When you're relaxed, you don't give a shit what people think
and so you're confident.
Another great way to build confidence is every morning when you wake up, look in the mirror and say something positive, "Hey Jaym, you're avatar looks like Chris Gore if you blur your eyes. And he's hot." Or it could just be a statement no one can refute, "Fantastic morning Jaym, you have hair!" No one can say you don't, and it's still a compliment.
~ Anthony
Kris561
Member
Jaym, as long as you've kissed a single girl in your life you've gotten further than me at least. I'll be 28 in December and have had ZERO luck with women. So you're not the only one questioning yourself. Just hang in there and keep hope alive that things will work out. That's what I do. I tell myself all the waiting I've done will pay off one day.
FuRyUs
Member
I want my click back....
RedEyedJedi
Member
Yeah, plus never bring a roll of duct-tape and a ball gag to a first date either, apparently they don't like that. 
briscojr
Member
I want FuRyUs's click back as well.
Some 6-month-old threads deserve a bump... others not so much.
Dave-O
Member
There's a bunch of clicks under the couch if you want
Gerrad
Member
I think we are missing the bigger picture here. When did FuRyUs' avatar start posing?
Jhylla81
Member
With horns that large, his neck must be ready to snap! No wonder he's in that position!
briscojr
Member
Ummm Dave-O... why are your clicks vibrating?
Danger Man
Member
Don't use those clicks! You don't know where they've been.
Oh right, they were under the couch. Ok, so maybe you DO know where those clicks have been, but you don't know what they've been doing under there.
Lyle T.
Member
@Jaym I really don't know you all that well but from alot of your post I can tell your a pretty bright guy.Something I think you might be doing is defeating yourself before you even get to start when your meeting the lady your looking for.
Low self esteem,anxiety disorder and Im sure alittle bit of depression aside........Something you should try is to really concentrate on the simple thinks when your meet someone .......You really have to take all of your thoughs of ...will she like me,what the sex will be like,blah,blah ,blah and put them completely in the back of your mind...........Focus on her and get her to talk about herself and listen to her.You are smart enough guy Im sure that you can carry on a conversation..........but like Olivia put it Dont come off as a be a winer or belittling yourself when your talking to someone you really like and meeting for the first time.
And one of the key things here is that there is nothing wrong with being picky on who you really like or the type of girl but you really can't put all your egg's in one basket so to speak.
I might be wrong but it kind sounds like your searching for a perfect lady kinda like a quest for the holy grail but even if you where to find what your looking for ..........the reality and harsh true is you really can't make that special someone love you.....Love is just something that you dont plan on it is something you just find. And most of all you really have to start loving yourself buddy. You really cant love someone else if you cant love yourself.
Scarfo
Member
My advise is...to just be Yourself! That's loving yourself. That way, when you make new friends and even if you find that"special person", they will love and appreciate you, for being you.
