edub
Member
Dear CLC.
I once read in some men's health magazine , or I remember a chart of calories burned while having sex, and what type of food, and how big a portion one can eat based on how much sex they had that day.
So, If I had two slices of pizza, any idea of how many hours of sex I need to have in order to burn off that intake ?
Thank you in advance.
Keep swingin'
Colonel Large Cock
Member
Dear Mr. Volkswagen,
The Colonel doesn't concern himself with calories. The Large Cock is all muscle! That being said, I recommend combining the two. Insert the slice/s of pizza gently into the vagina (a splash of olive oil will help) If you want to control your calories, pick a virgin for a snack, Britney Spears for a Large pizza. If you time it right, she should climax just as you finish! CLC
Peaches
Member
legion
Member
dear CLC,
a friend of mine just got a colonic cleansing and he's chubby. he advised me that i should get one.
and i do but i want to apporach it like this,
i'm gonna pay for a hooker and have her give me head while cleansing my ass.
is this a good idea?what should i do? cause i never poop and cum at the same time, and i was wondering whats your thoughts.
your friend,
i eat chicken and fish
thanks.
Colonel Large Cock
Member
Dear Legion,
your comment in "Watermelon-ey Dare" has given me an idea! First, take the slices of pineapple and watermelon and insert them into the anus (I suggest leaving the husk on for added stimulation) Then, insert a rubber hose into the anus, attach a funnel to the other end and pour in a couple of bottles of Vodka (I recommend Grey Goose) Now it's time to introduce the hooker! As she fellates you, you can both take turns sucking out the vodka/fruity concoction! You are now cleansed and blown! A good time by anyones' standards! 
CLC
SiteAdmin
Member
Dear CLC,
Women are beautiful creatures of the night. I can look past their gills and vagina teeth, but why are they so messy in bed? Gooey, splattery and often squirty. Welcome to Stickyville, population my bed sheets. Outside of a plastic liner or being purposely bad in bed, what am I to do?!
Sincerely, Site "I'm-not-a-germaphobe-I-swear" Admin.
edub
Member
Dear CLC,
Is this your company or image?
http://www.rexgoliath.com/rexgoliath/page/history.jsp
Also, to get your birds in the mood, what tricks do you pull?
Do you give them any type of beverage? Knock out pills, or play any specific music, lighting? etc ?
thanx.
Peaches
Member
legion
Member
dear CLC
i've already did as i set out to complish and i say, it was a night to remember. now i've noticed what you'd recommanded and i'm happy i caught your prescription late besides you're a .99 cent nuggut,
this is like the hot sauce, to dip yo sh*t in.
betcha you suck micheal vick's cock cause hes one pimp ass nigga,and you,my feathered succulent!
you read peoples minds?no
but if you'd like to ask a question about "watermelon flesh" like the insides of birds,road kill,innocent people murdred after a USA military drones and cows...ect
so thats that.
Your Cock Dees Nuts and Shaft(in yo ass but i dont sword fight)
we still friends,right?
wh,what?lol
legion
Member
cum, cum now, no need to shy away. 
Colonel Large Cock
Member
Dear Legion,
I'm not overly fluent in "Stoner" but I'm glad to hear you had a good time! CLC 
Colonel Large Cock
Member
Dear Site Admin,
I'm in the process of developing a female full body condom, just for nutbags like you! It has tube like "fingers" located at various orifices around the body. Just pick your hole, and two minutes later, peel it off "inside out!" No mess, No fuss!
Look for "The Colonels' Cocktacular Cum Catching Condom" in stores soon. CLC
phil4real
Member
Dear CLC,
In your professional opinion why are us men so eager to participate in orgies? In what way does it satisfy us if we potentially may rub scrotums with another dude while double penetrating a hot girl?
edub
Member
Dear CLC,
word up ?
I was hoping to at least be amused, if not informed by your advice and corner posts.
Please contribute! Give us some updates and tips.
Yours the best!
e-dub
Grassy Grassy
Member
What's a chicken log?
Scarfo
Member
whoa...and to think, I've been missing out on all this knowledge, for months now....Anyway, CLC, I have a question:
I was having sexual intercourse with my female friend, while we was in the bathtub together. I orgasmed, but when she went to wipe me with a warm wash rag..I orgasmed even harder..so my question: How do I break up with my lady friend, since now I discovered my warm wash rag pleases me more then she does?
Colonel Large Cock
Member
Dear Scarfo,
I'm glad to see you've discovered the treasure trove of knowledge that is the "Colonels' Corner" I'm going to give you advice similar to that I gave Rollie. The next time you have a bathtub threesome, I suggest you drop a deuce when you orgasm. I see this as a win/win situation. A. She either runs a mile and you never see her again, (without having to break up with her) or B. You've set yourself up for a lifetime of Chili dogs, Dublin Mudslides and Glass Bottom Boats. CLC
Paweezy Fosheezy
Member
scottjc
Member
Gerrad
Member
I salute you CLC..... Just beautiful insight. You really are a worldly cock.
edub
Member
Awe, my all time favorite thread.
Always rewarding.
I've been long in the know of a dirty Sanchez and a donkey punch, But Now I've been enlightened with a "Dublin Mudslide". As a Guinness enthusiast, I should have known better!
Trying to learn something everyday. Today was no exception.
Now what is a "glass bottom boat "?
Salute to the CLC!
Scarfo
Member
Thanks for the helpful advise CLC!
Colonel Large Cock
Member
@Gerrad Coming from you, I consider that a real compliment!
@Mr. Volkswagen I could just link to UD, but I prefer the personal touch. There are a few different definitions, the first involving a glass coffee table. One person lays under said coffee table whilst the other defecates on the table. Not to everyones taste, but who am I to judge?
One word of caution though, a chick once asked me for a "Dublin Mudslide" so of course I obliged, only to find out she wanted the Ben and Jerry's flavor instead. I just threw in a few scoops of icecream and everyone was happy!
There is also a glass bottomed blumpkin, which I'm sure Gerrad is familiar with. 
CLC
RedEyedJedi
Member
Gerrad
Member
@CLC Same thing happened to me with a jelly doughnut. That was an awkward first date.
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