His parents are awful. And right after he confesses, you can hear someone fart. It’s perfectly white trash all around.

A balloon set adrift today by a 6-year-old boy from his parents’ Colorado home was empty when it landed.

So he either landed safely and went for a walk. OR he fell the fuck out of it. I mean, it’s a goodamm ballloon.

Some people are saying it’s a hoax or ploy for attention from the family. A sibling had reported seeing the boy on board. His science enthusiasts parents were featured on ABC’s Wife Swap in March, so they might just be eccentric weirdos who are trying to get famous. OR he really did fly off in a balloon and now he’s missing.

Either way, it’s sad.

Click HERE to read more about this breaking news.

A government contractor just spent a week mapping radioactive rabbit feces with detectors mounted on a helicopter flying 50 feet over the desert in south-central Washington State at the Hanford Nuclear Reservation.

Apparently anything that hops, burrows, buzzes or crawls near a nuclear weapons plant may be capable of setting off a Geiger counter and trigger alarms.

Rabbit droppings? Really? Very clever, Robots. Very. Clever.

Game on.

Last week I had a meeting in the office of the executive producers of Attack of the Show. And I left my badge in there by accident. So, naturally Vinny (one of the two EPs) vandalized it and took it home with him to play with his other toys and hold it hostage… This is war.

This shit freaks me out!!

22-year-old Michelle Childers and her husband Daniel were taking a leisurely drive in the Idaho Mountains when Michelle was impaled in the NECK with a 13-inch spruce tree branch that crashed through one of their truck windows!

She was so shell-shocked she didn’t even immediately realize what had happened, asking her husband, “Where is it?”

Michelle’s life was saved after a 6-hour operation at St. Patrick Hospital in Missoula, Montana. She’s now at home recovering.